At many meetings, you may hear the phrase, “We will be amazed before we are halfway through.” But halfway through what? This line points directly to Steps 8 and 9—the amends process. Unfortunately, this powerful message is sometimes misunderstood. Some believe they can simply feel their way into a better life or that an awakening can happen without action, driven by ego. But real transformation requires more.
Amendment, by definition, means change. It is not just about saying sorry; it’s about repairing the wreckage of the past. Until we address this wreckage, we cannot fully embrace the promises of recovery. The freedom and new life we seek are intertwined with this vital work. Skipping or rushing through it may lead us back into old behaviors, sometimes with serious consequences.
True healing begins when we take these steps thoughtfully and with humility. These amends are not only about clearing our conscience but about changing our relationships with others—and ourselves.
Understanding Amends: A Shift in Perspective and Relationships
Making amends is a twofold process that involves:
- External Change – Rebuilding trust with those we harmed by taking action to repair relationships.
- Internal Change – Transforming our mindset through responsibility, honesty, and accountability.
Amends are not just about fixing what is broken externally; they are about profound personal transformation. Each time we make an amends, we rebuild a piece of ourselves. As we continue this process, we stop running from guilt and shame. Instead, we confront the harm we’ve done and, in doing so, free ourselves to experience peace and emotional growth.
Why Steps 8 and 9 Matter: A New Way to Live
The promises of recovery are not just words we hear at meetings—they are promises that require action. Many of us may want the joy, peace, and freedom described in the promises without doing the work of amends. However, the new life we seek can only be achieved by cleaning up the wreckage of the past.
If we are unwilling to make amends, it may be a sign that we are still trapped in ego and fear. But when we begin to act with humility, a sense of liberation emerges. We start to understand that amends are not only about the person we harmed—they are about who we become through the process.
Worksheet: Steps 8 & 9 – Identifying Your Amends
This worksheet will help you categorize your amends into three areas—those that feel manageable, those that require more effort, and those that seem impossible right now.
Section 1: Easy Amends (Organic)
These amends feel natural and manageable. They may involve smaller harms or people who are already open to reconciliation.
List 3 Easy Amends:
Section 2: Hard Amends
These amends require more emotional readiness. They may involve guilt, fear, or complex relationships. While they may feel difficult, these amends are necessary for personal growth.
List 3 Hard Amends:
Section 3: Never (Seemingly Impossible) Amends
These amends may feel impossible right now due to unresolved trauma or emotional barriers. They might involve people who are no longer in your life or deceased. Even though they seem out of reach, the goal is to begin exploring ways to move toward willingness.
List 3 Impossible Amends:
Reflection Questions
- Easy Amends:
How do you feel about making these amends? What makes them more manageable? - Hard Amends:
What fears do you have about making these amends? What steps can you take to begin the process? - Impossible Amends:
What emotional or mental barriers make these amends feel out of reach? How might your willingness change over time? - Perception Shift:
How do you think your perception of yourself and your relationships will change after completing these amends?
The Spiritual Awakening Through Amends
When we commit to amends, we experience something greater than just external change. We undergo an internal transformation that opens us to a deeper connection with others and ourselves. This process can feel daunting, but it is through these actions that we start to see the promises of recovery come to life.
Amends are not simply about achieving closure—they represent a step toward freedom. They allow us to shed the weight of guilt and shame and replace it with accountability and peace. The work of amends is not quick or easy, but it is essential. Every amends, no matter how small, represents a shift toward becoming the person we were always meant to be.
Closing Thought: Freedom Through Action
The journey of recovery is not just about quitting a substance—it is about changing the way we live. Amends are a crucial part of that transformation. While some amends may take time, the willingness to change is the first step toward healing.
Remember, making amends is about more than fixing relationships—it’s about freeing yourself to live a better future. Through this process, we begin to experience the promises of recovery. We can let go of the past and move forward with humility, honesty, and courage.
As the saying goes, “We will be amazed before we are halfway through.” That halfway point is the moment when we begin to see the impact of amends on our lives—a moment when the fog begins to lift, and we can finally feel the freedom we’ve been seeking.
Take your time, stay honest, and embrace the process. The work of amends is the work of transformation—and it’s worth every step.